Want to be in love forever?

If so, you first need to know how to recognize the real thing. Often, it’s the woman who sees it before the man.

As a relationship expert and love coach, I’ve found that the primary indicator of real love is when your body, heart, and mind all converge on the same undeniable truth: this man was made for you. There’s also an unflinching awareness that you were made for him. If you would bet your life (and his) that no other woman could ever love him better than you, then you’ve found the One.

But let me warn you… love is not easy. Once the starry-eyed phase shifts into the inevitable power struggle, that’s when the real work begins. But it’s good work, providing the deepest access to intimacy. Relationships are intense personal growth workshops. They are where you dive deep into your darkest shadow work. Love isn’t for the faint-hearted—it’s a gladiator sport. That’s why I champion the highest, most resilient form possible: True Love.

You need an unshakable force strong enough to keep you engaged in the intense self-inquiry required for a long-term partnership. The right partner becomes a mirror for your magnificence and your blind spots. A long-term relationship demands that you "die-into" a more expansive version of yourself, and that can be terrifying. Only True Love is strong enough to withstand the uncontrollable urge to run when it gets hard.

And that is the point. Love is a sacred crucible for self-actualization. I believe it’s our fastest path to transformation. This game is about rolling up your sleeves and confronting the wounded areas of your psyche you’ve been avoiding.

Common Reasons You May Not Have Found Lasting Love or Marriage (Yet)

• You treat men as more or less important than you, which creates imbalance.
• You believe someone should love you "just the way you are" instead of seeking growth.
• You want to be rescued—physically, financially, emotionally, or intellectually.
• You’re riddled with shame, fear, and hopelessness, believing true love is a fantasy.
• You're more attached to getting married by a certain date than to being truly in love.
• You avoid looking at your own patterns that interfere with intimacy.
• You feel ashamed of your sexuality and carry unexplored guilt around it.
• You're disconnected from your feelings and avoid sharing them.
• You’re addicted to control and secretly want more power than your partner.
• You’ve forgotten you’re a goddess, a creatrix, and a high priestess deserving of love. If you don’t know you’re a queen, you’ll never find your king.

These are beliefs I once held, and I often see them in my female clients. If any resonate, it's crucial to identify and shift them. Without doing so, you may repeat the same patterns and miss the opportunity to find lasting love. Or worse—you’ll settle for "good enough," but the romance will eventually dissolve, leaving you feeling alone and disillusioned.

The 5 Experiences a Man Needs to Fall in Love and Stay Forever

1. Be His Safest Place:Your arms, eyes, and lap need to be his refuge. The world can be a scary place, and if he doesn’t feel safe with you, he won’t choose to stay. Become the safest place for his heart’s deepest needs, and he’ll always return to you.
2. Let Him Be a Hero:Men want to feel trusted by their woman. Trust is not earned—it is granted. Believe in his desire to support, nourish, and champion you. Acknowledge and appreciate his strength. Men fall in love with the woman who lets him be her hero.
3. Praise, Don’t Criticize:Reward good behavior and ignore bad behavior. Avoid using criticism, leverage, or manipulation. Instead, influence through trust and desire. Public acknowledgment is powerful. True love isn’t about maintaining power—it’s about open-hearted transparency.
4. Create a Great Sex Life:Continually develop your sexuality to create a non-shameful, exciting sex life. Sex is not a luxury—it’s essential. Be open about your desires and encourage him to share his. Reinvent your sexual connection together. Until you explore issues around sex and shame, they will undermine your relationship.
5. Share Your Truth:Be open with your fears, desires, and dreams. Men want a partner who makes them feel alive. A woman who shares her emotions creates that aliveness. Learn to identify and express your feelings without justification. It’s a crucial skill for building deep connection.

Having Faith

Faith is the invisible thread that connects you to lasting love. It has no proof—just an unwavering belief in what you find true and beautiful. Faith must be cultivated, especially when doubt creeps in. It’s a muscle that grows through practice.

As a woman, you are the emotional leader in your relationship. Mastering these skills is essential if you want love that lasts. Some things can only be learned through creation. I invite you to become a creator of love, even in the face of fear.

True Love requires only one thing: belief. If you don’t believe in it, you can’t have it. But somewhere deep inside, there’s an ember that knows love exists. Fan that ember into a flame that fuels your own love story. You can never have what you don’t believe in. So believe.

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