Annie Lalla

~ Cartographer of Love ~

“If you don’t believe in True Love, how can you ever have it?”

With an Honors Science Degree in Biology & Philosophy (minor in Buddhism), my studies include evolutionary psychology, integral theory, spiral dynamics, inter-generational family systems and therapeutic sexuality. With professional certifications in Coaching, NLP and Clinical Hypnosis, my tools extend to metaphoric narrative, role-play and interacting with clients as their highest selves.

In my coaching, I help individuals attract, create and foster extraordinary connections that maximize freedom and minimize shame.

I work with two types of people:

  • Singles who are done with dating & ready to find their partner

  • Couples wanting to resolve conflicts that erode their connection

 

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Annie Lalla

~ Cartographer of Love ~

With an Honors Science Degree in Biology & Philosophy (minor in Buddhism), my studies include evolutionary psychology, integral theory, spiral dynamics, inter-generational family systems and therapeutic sexuality. With professional certifications in Emotions Coaching, NLP and Clinical Hypnosis, my tools extend to metaphoric reframes, role-play and interacting with clients as their highest selves.

In my coaching, I help individuals attract, create and foster extraordinary connections that maximize freedom and minimize shame.

I work with two types of people:

  • Singles who are done with dating & ready to find their life partner
  • Couples in love wanting to resolve recurrent conflicts that erode their connection
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love-story

With effective tools, you can resolve toxic patterns, defuse conflict, assuage shame and cultivate a resilient relationship that lasts a lifetime.

My Love Journey

At 30, my 7-year relationship ended.

We loved each other but couldn’t find a way to make it work. With my heart broken -feeling  deflated & ashamed- I was then forced to move back in with my family. My self-esteem was waning so I returned to my corporate career as an IT Consultant. I avoided men while my heart healed. Work kept me busy as I focused on earning money, going to the gym, making friends & reading self-help books.

Depressed at 35yrs, I quit my job.

Two relationships followed and both men were loving & brilliant—but not right for me. One was a wise, nerdy mathematician, rational but unemotional. The other was a struggling entrepreneur who lived with his dad. Both loves ended respectfully. Feeling hopeless, I quit my IT job for my life’s calling as a Love Coach. Perhaps being aligned with my purpose might now attract the right partner.

I wondered…was I really settling?

Suddenly a handsome young doctor started to adore me. He was successful, ready for marriage & kids. I was 38 yrs & my bio-clock was ticking, yet my heart was hesitant to commit. He was amazing, but I suspected I was going for a good enough “baby daddy” rather than my soulmate. True Love must take priority over the desire for a child. Staying would have been selling out on my soul’s truth.

Finally I found him, The One.

After deep inner work, I let go of ‘needing’ to be a mother & compromising on True Love. Finally, I met someone who redefined what a “man” was for me. Talking on stage at Burning Man, his words blew my mind & heart wide open.His name was Eben Pagan and within months we were deeply in love. Standing fiercely for each others’ growth as sacred mirrors, we committed to each other for life.

Being in Love takes work & courage.

At the start of our relationship, we fought a lot. It was a laboratory for conflict resolution. Every argument was a painful yet educational process of learning how to love each other better. Like all muscles, the heart gets stronger every time it rips & heals. We learned how to argue with dignity -towards self & other, then together we began teaching others about love & conflict resolution on stage.

We created something, Love.

Eben wasn’t interested in having children. To be with him, I might need to give up that dream. At 40 yrs old, time was running out. Still, I stayed at his side. Once he realized that I loved him more than I wanted a baby, something new opened up between us. We both felt a child courting us. At 41 yrs, I was pregnant and Eben was delighted. Our daughter -born naturally at home was named “Love”.

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