Annie Lalla

~ Cartographer of Love ~

“if you don’t believe in true love, you can never have it.”

With an Honors Science Degree in Biology & Philosophy (minor in Buddhism), my studies include evolutionary psychology, integral theory, spiral dynamics, inter-generational family systems and therapeutic sexuality. With professional certifications in Coaching, NLP and Clinical Hypnosis, my tools extend to metaphoric narrative, role-play and interacting with clients as their highest selves.

In my coaching, I help individuals attract, create and foster extraordinary connections that maximize freedom and minimize shame.

I work with two types of people:

  • Singles who are done with dating & ready to find their partner

  • Couples wanting to resolve conflicts that erode their connection

 

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Annie Lalla

~ Cartographer of Love ~

With an Honors Degree in Biology & Philosophy (minor in Buddhism), my studies include evolutionary psychology, integral theory, spiral dynamics, inter-generational family systems and therapeutic sexuality. With professional certifications in Coaching, NLP and Clinical Hypnosis, I use metaphoric narrative, role-play and interact with my clients as their highest future selves.

In my coaching, I help individuals attract, create and foster extraordinary connections that maximize freedom and minimize shame.

I work with two types of people:

  • Singles who are done with dating & ready to find their life partner
  • Couples in love wanting to resolve recurrent conflicts that erode their connection
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love-story

With effective tools, you can resolve toxic patterns, defuse conflict, assuage shame and cultivate a resilient relationship that lasts a lifetime.

My Love Journey

At 30, my 7-year relationship ended

My heart was broken. Forced to move back home with my family, I was deflated & ashamed. We loved each other but just couldn’t find a way to make it work. My self-esteem waned & I returned to my corporate career as an IT Consultant. I avoided men for a while as my heart healed. Work kept me busy as I focused on making money, going to the gym, making friends & reading self-help books.

Depressed at 35yrs, I quit my job

Two relationships followed and both men were loving & brilliant—but not right for me. One was a wise, nerdy mathematician, rational but unemotional. The other was a struggling entrepreneur who lived with his dad. Both loves ended respectfully. Feeling hopeless, I quit my IT job for my life’s calling as a Love Coach. Perhaps being aligned with my purpose might now attract the right partner.

I wondered…was I really settling?

Suddenly a handsome young doctor started to adore me. He was successful, ready for marriage & kids. I was 38 yrs & my bio-clock was ticking, yet my heart was hesitant to commit. He was amazing, but I suspected I was going for good enough “baby daddy” rather than soulmate. True Love must take priority over one’s desire for a child; to stay would have been selling out on my soul’s truth.

Finally I found him, The One

After deep work, I let go of needing to be a mother & compromising on True Love. Finally, I met someone who redefined what “man” was for me. Talking on stage at Burning Man, his words blew my mind & heart wide open. His name was Eben Pagan and within months we were in love. Standing fiercely for each others’ growth, we committed to our relationship as sacred mirrors for life.

That’s when the real work began

At the start, we fought a lot. Our relationship was a laboratory for conflict resolution. Every argument was a painful yet educational process of learning how to love each other better. Like all muscles, the heart gets stronger every time it rips & heals. We learned how to argue with dignity -towards self & other, then began teaching together about love & conflict resolution on stage.

And then we finally made Love

Eben wasn’t interested in children. To be with him, I might need to give up that dream. At 40 yrs old, time was running out. Still, I stayed at his side. Once he realized I loved him more than I wanted a baby, something new opened up between us. We both felt a child courting us. At 41 yrs, I got pregnant. Eben was delighted. Our daughter, born naturally at home was named “Love”, after her origin.

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